A Sexy Fashion Show...for Women!

Last night was the broadcast of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I’m afraid I was elsewhere in TV Land during this show, but the idea of it did inspire me nonetheless. I thought, well, we have Vicky’s Secret catering to the fashion show preferences of the male gender...what about a fashion show geared for women?

So I played a little game with myself and invented a fantasy lineup of celebrity males (living and departed alike) sporting the outfits that they’ve made famous. Maybe men are easily satisfied with a bunch of women in underwear, but we women have much broader and more interesting tastes, do we not? This is my personal list of men in their sexiest garb, a smorgasbord of male fashion hotness:

• Diego Luna in tight pants suitable for Latin dancing (“Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights”).
• John O’Hurley in tails (“Dancing with the Stars”).
• John Williams in a summer tux, conducting the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra.
• Rick Springfield in leather pants with a guitar.
• Mike Portnoy in sweat, drumming for Dream Theater.
• John Krasinski in jeans and a sweater (since we normally see him in shirt and tie) (“The Office”).
• Josh Holloway in jeans. Period. (“Lost”)
• Christian Bale in a batcowl (“Batman Begins”).
• Hugh Jackman in wolverine claws (“X-Men”).
• Mel Gibson in a kilt (“Braveheart”).
• Malcolm McDowell in a toga (“Caligula”).
• Frank Langella in a cape (“Dracula”).
• Johnny Depp in pirate gear and eyeliner (“Pirates of the Caribbean”).
• Colin Firth in Regency riding clothes (“Pride and Prejudice”).
• Orlando Bloom in pointed ears with an arrow ready to let fly (“Lord of the Rings”).
• Viggo Mortensen all scruffy and dirty, brandishing a sword (“Lord of the Rings”).
• Alan Rickman in Hogwarts professorial wear (or those excellent glasses he wears in “Love Actually,” for that matter).
• Daniel Radcliffe (after puberty of course) in his Griffyndor school coat and scarf (with those excellent round glasses).
• Robert Preston in a straw boater and seersucker suit (“The Music Man”).
• Yul Brynner in Siamese royal garb (“The King and I”).
• Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson in cowboy hats and chaps (“Shanghai Noon”).
• Michael Rennie dressed for intergalactic travel (“The Day the Earth Stood Still”).
• Richard O’Brien dressed to spoof Michael Rennie (“The Rocky Horror Picture Show”).
• Sting in a sci-fi codpiece (“Dune”).
• Patrick Stewart in his Star Fleet dress uniform (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”).
• Napoleon Dynamite in moon boots, as long as he’s dancing (“Napoleon Dynamite”).
• Joaquin Phoenix in firefighting gear (“Ladder 49”).
• Ty Pennington in a tool belt.
• Noah Wylie in a lab coat (“ER”).
• Any member of the Geek Squad, complete with pocket protector (okay, this may only work for me...see also I Heart Techies).
• Mark Allen (6-time Ironman winner) in a singlet, running shorts and Nikes.
• Nathan Fillion in a long brown coat (“Serenity”/“Firefly”).
• Keanu Reeves in a long black coat (“The Matrix”).
• Hayden Christensen in black Jedi robes (“Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith”).
• Bobby Flay in chef’s whites.
• Jeff Goldblum with blue skin (“Earth Girls are Easy”).
• Gerard Butler with a mask (“The Phantom of the Opera”).
• Trey Parker in a baseketball uniform (“Baseketball”).
• Vince Vaughn in cheerleading attire (“Old School”).
• Ewan McGregor naked and oiled under the lights (“Velvet Goldmine”).
• Okay, Ewan McGregor in anything.