Wednesday, December 07, 2005

A Sexy Fashion Show...for Women!


Last night was the broadcast of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I’m afraid I was elsewhere in TV Land during this show, but the idea of it did inspire me nonetheless. I thought, well, we have Vicky’s Secret catering to the fashion show preferences of the male gender...what about a fashion show geared for women?

So I played a little game with myself and invented a fantasy lineup of celebrity males (living and departed alike) sporting the outfits that they’ve made famous. Maybe men are easily satisfied with a bunch of women in underwear, but we women have much broader and more interesting tastes, do we not? This is my personal list of men in their sexiest garb, a smorgasbord of male fashion hotness:

  • Diego Luna in tight pants suitable for Latin dancing (“Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights”).
  • John O’Hurley in tails (“Dancing with the Stars”).
  • John Williams in a summer tux, conducting the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra.
  • Rick Springfield in leather pants with a guitar.
  • Mike Portnoy in sweat, drumming for Dream Theater.
  • John Krasinski in jeans and a sweater (since we normally see him in shirt and tie) (“The Office”).
  • Josh Holloway in jeans. Period. (“Lost”)
  • Christian Bale in a batcowl (“Batman Begins”).
  • Hugh Jackman in wolverine claws (“X-Men”).
  • Mel Gibson in a kilt (“Braveheart”).
  • Malcolm McDowell in a toga (“Caligula”).
  • Frank Langella in a cape (“Dracula”).
  • Johnny Depp in pirate gear and eyeliner (“Pirates of the Caribbean”).
  • Colin Firth in Regency riding clothes (“Pride and Prejudice”).
  • Orlando Bloom in pointed ears with an arrow ready to let fly (“Lord of the Rings”).
  • Viggo Mortensen all scruffy and dirty, brandishing a sword (“Lord of the Rings”).
  • Alan Rickman in Hogwarts professorial wear (or those excellent glasses he wears in “Love Actually,” for that matter).
  • Daniel Radcliffe (after puberty of course) in his Griffyndor school coat and scarf (with those excellent round glasses).
  • Robert Preston in a straw boater and seersucker suit (“The Music Man”).
  • Yul Brynner in Siamese royal garb (“The King and I”).
  • Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson in cowboy hats and chaps (“Shanghai Noon”).
  • Michael Rennie dressed for intergalactic travel (“The Day the Earth Stood Still”).
  • Richard O’Brien dressed to spoof Michael Rennie (“The Rocky Horror Picture Show”).
  • Sting in a sci-fi codpiece (“Dune”).
  • Patrick Stewart in his Star Fleet dress uniform (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”).
  • Napoleon Dynamite in moon boots, as long as he’s dancing (“Napoleon Dynamite”).
  • Joaquin Phoenix in firefighting gear (“Ladder 49”).
  • Ty Pennington in a tool belt.
  • Noah Wylie in a lab coat (“ER”).
  • Any member of the Geek Squad, complete with pocket protector (okay, this may only work for me...see also I Heart Techies).
  • Mark Allen (6-time Ironman winner) in a singlet, running shorts and Nikes.
  • Nathan Fillion in a long brown coat (“Serenity”/“Firefly”).
  • Keanu Reeves in a long black coat (“The Matrix”).
  • Hayden Christensen in black Jedi robes (“Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith”).
  • Bobby Flay in chef’s whites.
  • Jeff Goldblum with blue skin (“Earth Girls are Easy”).
  • Gerard Butler with a mask (“The Phantom of the Opera”).
  • Trey Parker in a baseketball uniform (“Baseketball”).
  • Vince Vaughn in cheerleading attire (“Old School”).
  • Ewan McGregor naked and oiled under the lights (“Velvet Goldmine”).
  • Okay, Ewan McGregor in anything.

2 comments:

bainst said...

Any reasonably attractive(or just damn fine) man in a tux. Shirt unbuttoned, tie off. Just to sexy for me.

Tamar

Diana Laurence said...

Tamar, you hit it right on with that image. That's an outfit not too many women can resist.