Wednesday, December 07, 2005

A Sexy Fashion Show...for Women!

Last night was the broadcast of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I’m afraid I was elsewhere in TV Land during this show, but the idea of it did inspire me nonetheless. I thought, well, we have Vicky’s Secret catering to the fashion show preferences of the male gender...what about a fashion show geared for women?

So I played a little game with myself and invented a fantasy lineup of celebrity males (living and departed alike) sporting the outfits that they’ve made famous. Maybe men are easily satisfied with a bunch of women in underwear, but we women have much broader and more interesting tastes, do we not? This is my personal list of men in their sexiest garb, a smorgasbord of male fashion hotness:

  • Diego Luna in tight pants suitable for Latin dancing (“Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights”).
  • John O’Hurley in tails (“Dancing with the Stars”).
  • John Williams in a summer tux, conducting the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra.
  • Rick Springfield in leather pants with a guitar.
  • Mike Portnoy in sweat, drumming for Dream Theater.
  • John Krasinski in jeans and a sweater (since we normally see him in shirt and tie) (“The Office”).
  • Josh Holloway in jeans. Period. (“Lost”)
  • Christian Bale in a batcowl (“Batman Begins”).
  • Hugh Jackman in wolverine claws (“X-Men”).
  • Mel Gibson in a kilt (“Braveheart”).
  • Malcolm McDowell in a toga (“Caligula”).
  • Frank Langella in a cape (“Dracula”).
  • Johnny Depp in pirate gear and eyeliner (“Pirates of the Caribbean”).
  • Colin Firth in Regency riding clothes (“Pride and Prejudice”).
  • Orlando Bloom in pointed ears with an arrow ready to let fly (“Lord of the Rings”).
  • Viggo Mortensen all scruffy and dirty, brandishing a sword (“Lord of the Rings”).
  • Alan Rickman in Hogwarts professorial wear (or those excellent glasses he wears in “Love Actually,” for that matter).
  • Daniel Radcliffe (after puberty of course) in his Griffyndor school coat and scarf (with those excellent round glasses).
  • Robert Preston in a straw boater and seersucker suit (“The Music Man”).
  • Yul Brynner in Siamese royal garb (“The King and I”).
  • Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson in cowboy hats and chaps (“Shanghai Noon”).
  • Michael Rennie dressed for intergalactic travel (“The Day the Earth Stood Still”).
  • Richard O’Brien dressed to spoof Michael Rennie (“The Rocky Horror Picture Show”).
  • Sting in a sci-fi codpiece (“Dune”).
  • Patrick Stewart in his Star Fleet dress uniform (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”).
  • Napoleon Dynamite in moon boots, as long as he’s dancing (“Napoleon Dynamite”).
  • Joaquin Phoenix in firefighting gear (“Ladder 49”).
  • Ty Pennington in a tool belt.
  • Noah Wylie in a lab coat (“ER”).
  • Any member of the Geek Squad, complete with pocket protector (okay, this may only work for me...see also I Heart Techies).
  • Mark Allen (6-time Ironman winner) in a singlet, running shorts and Nikes.
  • Nathan Fillion in a long brown coat (“Serenity”/“Firefly”).
  • Keanu Reeves in a long black coat (“The Matrix”).
  • Hayden Christensen in black Jedi robes (“Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith”).
  • Bobby Flay in chef’s whites.
  • Jeff Goldblum with blue skin (“Earth Girls are Easy”).
  • Gerard Butler with a mask (“The Phantom of the Opera”).
  • Trey Parker in a baseketball uniform (“Baseketball”).
  • Vince Vaughn in cheerleading attire (“Old School”).
  • Ewan McGregor naked and oiled under the lights (“Velvet Goldmine”).
  • Okay, Ewan McGregor in anything.


bainst said...

Any reasonably attractive(or just damn fine) man in a tux. Shirt unbuttoned, tie off. Just to sexy for me.


Diana Laurence said...

Tamar, you hit it right on with that image. That's an outfit not too many women can resist.