Possession

I’m a fan of “True Blood” on Facebook, and yesterday the fan page put up a notice of new tee shirts that say “Sookie is mine.” For those of you who don’t watch the show, the reference is to vampire Bill Compton’s statement concerning his mortal love, Sookie. This declaration is more than simple romance: it guarantees Sookie’s safety in the face of the covetousness of other vampires. Possession is just that big a deal in vampire world.


Well, this posting set off a slew of comments, needless to say. And not a one was negative. Not a single “isn’t this chauvinistic?” remark. On the contrary, everyone was wishing they were Bill’s, or Sookie was theirs, or they were Eric’s or Sam’s or Jason’s, etc.

It would seem that possessiveness, in spite of all society’s politically correct efforts to the contrary, remains sexy.

I’ve touched upon this topic before, in my 3/9/08 post about “Lost’s” Benjamin Linus. His fierce proclamation regarding Juliet —“You’re mine”—is still haunting the dreams of infatuated fans everywhere. To those who find Ben attractive, this greedy, covetous, jealous statement is just about the hottest thing he’s ever said.

Possessiveness, in practice, is not the most desirable trait in a mate. In its most dysfunctional form, it has driven psychopaths to kill. More typically, it causes strife in relationships and makes money for marriage counselors. But in fantasy, fiction, and shows like “True Blood” and “Lost,” it’s all kinds of sexy and romantic.

This is another one of those throwbacks to our more primitive days. When females depended upon males for protection, food and shelter, it was a boon to have your man ferociously possessive of you. You didn’t want him to take it lightly that a competitor or enemy might steal into your camp or castle at night and abscond with you. Men were (and in many ways still are) hardwired to look upon women as prizes to be won in competition with others, and the words “she’s mine” meant victory. Women were flattered to be considered the object of such competition, to be favored enough to be a “prize.” The words “you’re mine” meant a man had found her worthy of fighting for, perhaps to the death.

As obsolete as such concepts are today, we can’t completely put off those primitive feelings. The resulting phenomenon is that a female’s emotions are stirred by the storylines of “True Blood” and “Lost.” We love the concept of a vampire so desperately in love with a mortal woman that he forbids any other to dream of possessing her, and puts his fury behind the words. We even experience a sexual thrill when a diabolical villain declares his possession of a woman who shuns him, knowing it is a demonstration of his desperate desire for her.

I have lately been making my way through the Twilight books, and I must confess there is a recurring problem for me. It’s Bella’s aversion to marrying Edward. I understand her feeling some shame for marrying so young, but I know in her position I would give more weight to my delight at having such a fellow want to bind himself to me. I wondered if perhaps the teens of today are the first generation to not feel such traditional emotions on the subject.

I admit I’m incorrigibly old-fashioned, but I fall back on those things that thrilled young girls in the 60s and 70s: getting “pinned” or having your boyfriend give you his class ring…carving your initials together in a desk…getting an engagement ring. I wondered sadly whether it was becoming passé to feel you belonged to someone, and they belonged to you. Should candy manufacturers stop making those hearts that say “Be Mine”?

Well, the comments about that “True Blood” tee shirt were very heartening to me. The old instincts, apparently, are not dead.

I’m not alone in wishing I could hear Bill or Eric growl “[your name here] is mine.”

Looking for the Most Unforgettably Hot Heroes

Readers, I need your help. During April I am seeking a consensus on who are the truly unforgettable heroes of books, TV and film. And I want your opinion represented!

Back story: I do a monthly column for the Novelspot website, and for my April column I raised the topic. As much as we women can have our “hero-of-the-month”--the latest guy who gets to grace our computer wallpaper for a week or two--we also each have certain faves that seem to linger in our hearts all our lives. Something about them impacts us, hard, and we may even spend our whole lives measuring other males against them, both fictional and real life.

In case you’re wondering which three men I used for my own personal examples, they were:

• Books: Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice
• Movies: Klaatu from “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” 1951, played by Michael Rennie
• TV: Ben Linus from “Lost,” played by Michael Emerson

And you can read what I had to say about them in the post “What Hot Heroes Are Unforgettable to You?”


I promised to report what I hear in my May column, so please don’t leave me high and dry! You can post in the comments here, or if you prefer, email me at dianalaurence [at sign] wi.rr.com. Feel free to just give me names, but if you’d like to elaborate on your nominees’ appeal, by all means do so. Again, I’ll take any fictional characters, from books, movies or TV.

Let’s give these unforgettable guys their due!

BTW, the illustration of Mr. Darcy is a piece of a lovely painting by an artist called Sive, which you can see in full here: http://sive.deviantart.com/art/The-Dance-26167461

If This Woman (Me) Were a Man, Easy-Peasy!

Maybe I'm weird, but ever since college, I've occasionally given thought to what I would be like if I were male. I'll probably get an argument from my male readers, but to me it really seems like a piece of cake.

Well, in all respects but one: playing sports. I've always been horrific at sports, and the idea of being in the 2 percentile at sports AND male is pretty daunting. I'm sure I could throw a ball better with male shoulders (heck, a male iguana can throw better than me), but still. I do not envy men what they go through as physical competitors while in school.

But that point aside, there are advantages at every turn. Gosh, where do I start?

1. Supporting a family and being "head of a household" are no biggie. I've been the main breadwinner for my family for more than half of my adult years (two different marriages) and managed the affairs of those households almost entirely. I've had to deal with the corporate world (legal, finance, etc.) and all the nightmares that entails, while having the disadvantage of not being taken seriously because I'm female. Done this stuff as a chick...would have been even easier as a guy.

2. Two words: no periods. Ladies, imagine how much easier life would be! Two more words: no pregnancies. Two more: no menopause. Nuff said.

3. I realize if I had a male disposition I would probably be less adept at interpersonal relationships and thus have the typical struggles men have with connecting with their kids. The mom thing is an advantage there. But this is offset by the fact that kids just don't have as high of expectations of their dads. I.e., a little paternal approval and attention goes a long way.

4. It would be SO much easier to be attractive to the opposite sex. I'll explain. Women have much lower standards for physical attractiveness. Assuming I was in the same percentile of objective good looks as a male as I am now as a female, I'd put me at approximately the 60 percentile. Certainly good enough for the majority of women. And absolutely not good enough for the majority of men. As a guy I would be pretty short, decent build except for slight pot belly, pretty damn good for 52. As a woman I am very slight of bust, and, well, 52. Bleah.

5. Which leads me to that issue: Men can be a force into their 60s and beyond. In most respects, women are over-the-hill at 40 by our society's standards.

6. Oops, back at sex appeal: I also know, as a woman, what women find sexy: competence, self-confidence and a sense of humor. I am fortunate to have all these. They are also things that the average man doesn't have at the top of his "want list" for the ideal woman. See how much better I would fare as a guy?

This is a short list, but you get the gist. I would love a shot at being the male version of myself for a year or so and see how well I would fare. Problem is, there are things about being a woman that I would hate to give up. Like being able to be with men without the challenges gay guys must face. And wearing women's clothes without the challenges transvestites must face. And being free to do anything you want without it seeming "unmanly"--like squealing at cute guys and cuddly animals, and doing crafts, and demonstrating physical affection to those of my own sex. And in spite of #2 above, I really liked birthin' babies.

I also will admit that it isn't always easy being a white guy, as nowadays they suffer a sort of backlash for all the generations during which they had the most power. For example, white men of today are not the ones who conducted the Inquisition, enslaved African-Americans, or fought against women's suffrage, and it isn't fair that there are often "sent to the end of the line" because of the errors of their great-great-grandfathers.

I'm also not trying to make the point here that women are superior to men, so don't think that I am. An awful lot of women drive me absolutely nuts. And a lot of my own so-called "feminine traits" also drive me nuts.

And guys, please don't take this smug little blog post as criticism of you. I like men, and know a lot of men I admire. I just happen to think it's less work to be an admirable man than a woman our culture looks upon as worthy of admiration (sadly). But please, go ahead and correct me if I'm wrong!

Why Nice Girls Go for Bad Boys

A friend and fan of mine, let's call him Adam, emailed me in response to my last post about Ben Linus. Adam wondered, why the heck is it that women are so attracted to villains? He recounted a story of dating a woman with a history of abuse, and treating her kindly and well for a change, only to have her end up returning to her previous nasty boyfriend.

Adam is not alone, that's for sure. I know so many men who grew up believing the best way to woo a girl was to be nice to her, only to find out that like in so many areas of life, nice guys finish last with chicks. So they wonder, what is the deal with females? These ladies can't really be gluttons for punishment, can they?

My answer to that is, no, women are not after punishment when they fall for Bad Boys. On the contrary, they are out for rewards, in one or both of two key ways:

1. Bad Boys make up for our having to be so darn good. I've talked about this one a lot. Traditionally, girls are raised to be cooperative, empathetic, nurturant, willing to compromise and sacrifice their own needs. Having had to stifle self-interest, women are fascinated by males who live their lives selfishly and independently. Such men are everything we Good Girls are not: they break the rules, ignore convention, and do whatever they damn well please. In the great tradition of "opposites attract," these guys draw women like moths to flame. Just being around them is exciting, liberating, and arousing. Sure, there's a price to be paid--ill treatment--but to a point, it's an acceptable price.

2. There is nothing more satisfying than reforming a Bad Boy. I honestly think this is what's behind most of the truly "hard cases" of women hooked on cruel men. I haven't spent as much time discussing this one, so let's focus on it today.

There's a saying that goes, "Women marry men hoping to change them; men marry women hoping they won't change." Ever wonder why women so often have this agenda? Well, historically speaking, while men were busy with government, commerce, the professions, etc., women had to focus on homemaking. Therefore, if a woman was to feel fulfilled, and earn a sense of accomplishment, she had to do it by shaping the household. One key element of that was making improvements upon her husband.

Really, if you marry a nice guy, what challenge is there in that? It's already his nature--you can't take any credit for it. But if you adopt a Bad Boy, and by your love and effort and charms manage to reform him, that really proves something. It proves that this guy, who came to you all anti-social and dysfunctional, was transformed by his love for you. Could there be anything more flattering and self-affirming to a gender restricted largely to homemaking?

Nowadays it's easier for women to find fulfillment in arenas outside the home, but after thousands of years of behavior patterns, we are not going to change our propensities overnight.

Okay, now let's apply this principle to a couple of examples. In Example 1, you're Cinderella and the guy is Prince Charming. He's pretty much perfect when you meet him: brave, with a fine sense of duty, perfect manners, and the ability to ballroom dance to boot. Once you overcome the nasty people trying to keep the two of you apart, and achieve Happily Ever After, the story's over. And what have you accomplished? You tell yourself, "Hey, I won the heart of a nice guy"; but especially to the young and inexperienced, it seems like if you had faced more of a challenge you would feel even better about yourself.

Flip side: for Example 2, let's go back to Ben Linus. It's hard to be certain, but he seems like a lonely, f'ed up, megalomaniacal misfit. He's duplicitous, selfish, tricky and untrustworthy. Imagine then if you could be the woman who heals his emotional wounds, meets his unmet needs, and transforms him into a whole and healthy person. Now that's an accomplishment! And imagine how grateful Ben would be to you! You are truly his salvation, his whole world. You did what no one before you could do. You're amazing!

And that's how it works, Adam, my friend. When your girlfriend's nasty ex came after her again, she thought, "See, he needs me, he misses me, he can't live without me. I am changing him!" And of course she couldn't turn her back on him then, just when he was displaying evidence of this glorious transformation-by-love! Why should she stay with you, a nice, integrated, whole person, and take the easy road? There's a man out there who just can't make it without her!

Of course he was just acting that way for the moment, to get her back for sex, cleaning, cooking, a sympathetic ear, etc. Of course it all went bad again. But she was willing to risk it, just in case. And until everything fell through, she could once again glory in the feeling of being with a Bad Boy.

In a horrible way it makes sense, doesn't it?

So what's a nice guy like Adam to do? Hang in there and stay true to your nice self. Most women do wise up (there are three in my family who did, for example). Women are not actually stupid, nor are they masochists. Eventually they learn the lesson that the pain a Bad Boy causes more than offsets the pleasure he offers, and then they start looking for a man who will treat them well.

Which, by the way, is what ended up happening to my friend Adam. Because although Bad Boys may finish first in the sprints, life happens to be a marathon.

[About the illustration for today's post: This is a drawing I found of devil Crowley and angel Aziraphale, two characters from the book Good Omens. I find this depiction of a bad boy and a nice guy who are both attractive really fascinating. So do many artists, it would appear (just search Deviant Art for "Good Omens" and see). Anyway, this drawing was done by the fabulously talented Linnpuzzle]

Bad Boys, Good Guys, and Ben Linus

My daughters and I recently discussed the experiences all three of us have now endured, regarding the transition from Bad Boys to Good Guys. I dare say we are in good company in that regard.

Women often dig guys that treat them mean. It's complicated. I've discussed the attraction of the Bad Boy archetype at some length, both here on the blog and in my other columns, so I won't go into his special charms again here.

But the thing is, many of us have our first significant relationship with a guy who is less than kind. Some of us never get past it, and repeat the mistake over and over. But a lot of us learn from the experience. We recognize that Bad Boys can be charming, and sexy, and exciting, but in the end are just not worth it. They may offer thrills, giddy emotions, and hot sex...but the trade-off for a Good Guy, who gives you support, respect, understanding, and nurturance, is totally worth it.

My daughters and are all currently in relationships of various stages, from second date to six months to 15 years of marriage, all with nice guys. None of them are the kind who walk into a bar and turn heads; but all of them are perfectly attractive and very sweet guys. Do we three still find ourselves attracted to Bad Boys? You bet. Would we be with one? Hell's no.

So...what about Benjamin Linus? Well, Lost fans, I was thinking about all the stuff reinterated above, and I realized something that may account for the irresistible power this character has over so many women. Paradoxically (and isn't the Island always good for another paradox?), Ben is both Bad Boy and Good Guy at once.

This has been true from his very first appearance on the show. Remember when he swore he was just another castaway, an innocent guy named Henry Gale? No matter how many reasons we had to think he was lying, he was really some sort of evil mastermind, there was always that chance he really was a nice man. This has remained his shtick ever since. Just when you think he truly is pursuing a higher goal, he really may be the savior of all our heroes, he pulls some nasty stunt like a mass murder.

But meanwhile, just when he's rubbed out his latest enemy in cold blood, we become convinced he did it for some higher reason: true love, maybe...or to save countless other lives. He can just seem so damn sincere. With Ben, somehow duplicity comes across as genius, outrageous gall seems like courage, lying seems like, well, impressive outsmarting. In his most recent outing, Ben murdered Major Good Guy John Locke with his bare hands...and yet, all the while I watched the act, I was saying to myself, "This has to be for a good reason. I mean, it has to be. Right?"

So, with Ben Linus we women get to have our cake and eat it too. We can feel all tingly when Ben fools everyone with his latest lie, and all fluttery when he orders people around. But in the next minute we can honestly entertain the belief that in the end, Ben could save everyone we love on this show. We can feel pathos when he gets brutally beat up yet again (how many times has it been now? Surely some devoted fan is keeping count). And in the next scene we can marvel at how it seems every string in the plot is pulled by Benjamin Linus the Master Puppeteer.

I'm not sure I can think of a better example in any fictional medium of a man being Hero and Villain virtually simultaneously. And I have to believe it is this complex hybrid of the two archetypes that keeps women fascinated by Ben.

There are a lot of plot lines up in the air on Lost, but for my money, the one I look most forward to seeing resolved in a couple more years is this: Is Ben Linus a Bad Boy or a Good Guy? I am so hoping for the latter, but in the meantime, it's his role as the former that keeps me glued to his scenes.

Funny how that works.

[Ben Linus fans, please see also my original Ben post: "Please Tell Me Why I Love Ben Linus"]

Let’s Hear It for the J’s

Even if you’re unfamiliar with Myers-Briggs personality testing (I’m an INTJ), you will be able to follow my discussion topic for today. One of the scales that Myers-Briggs examines is J (Judging) vs. P (Perceiving). You can tell by the J in INTJ that I’m J. I’m, in fact, very J. My husband is also J, and truly a joy to live with. My first husband was P. That was a challenge.

Okay, so what’s the difference?

J’s plan ahead, P’s figure things out as they go along.
J’s like order and structure, P’s like flexibility.
J’s are goal oriented, P’s are more into the process of things.
J’s act according to principles and plan, P’s are spontaneous.
J’s appreciate and apply standards, P’s are more easy-going.
J’s are organized and orderly, P’s not so much.

When it comes to sex appeal, for a lot of people P’s are a bigger turn-on. Think Captain Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean,” Christian in “Moulin Rouge,” Rhett Butler in “Gone with the Wind,” or Jim on “The Office.” That free-spirit, devil-may-care type just seems like he’d be fun, right?

Well, today I’m here to sing the praises of J-men.

A couple of things set me off on this topic this week: First, I’ve just been annoyed in both my work and personal life by people who are disorganized and purposeless. Second, I just watched this episode of “Dirty Jobs” in which Mike Rowe and a bunch of volunteers cleaned litter and junk out of a cave/sink hole. Mike, like me, was really irked by the people who dumped all this stuff, ruining a lovely natural area, when it was just as easy to discard it properly.

This little incident with Mike seemed to crystallize for me the J vs. P battle. I’m not saying all P’s are litterbugs—lazy and shiftless slobs. But Mike and his band of brave volunteers, some of whom had to put life and limb at risk rappelling into this hole, seemed to symbolize the half of society that wants the rules followed and cares about keeping things orderly. And the dorks who dumped their old washers into this cave represent the half of society that simply doesn’t give a crap about that sort of thing.

Before I digress any further off the subject of sex…. Okay, so there’s a lot about Mike Rowe that is hot, but one thing about him that I really like is that he really does care about keeping the world clean, orderly, safe, and functioning properly. That’s a turn-on to me. So let’s take a look at a few other guys whose J-qualities get me excited.

Jamie Hyneman – “Mythbusters” – Okay, I usually sing the praises of Jamie’s P partner, Adam Savage. But I want to go on record that I realize having to work with Adam would make me crazy, his charms notwithstanding. I love that Jamie is methodical and painstaking, and also that for this reason he nearly always beats Adam in head-to-head challenges. Being capable is a very hot trait in men, and it’s a lot easier to be capable if you are a J: the sort who can make a plan and execute it. Jamie isn’t as cute and funny as Adam, and sometimes he’s kind of gruff and scary, but his J-ness has always made me feel he was pretty attractive anyway. Honorable mention goes to Grant Imahara who I’d say is also a J.

Obi-Wan Kenobi – “Star Wars” – To get a better sense of Obi-Wan’s P-ness, just compare him to his padawan, Anakin Skywalker. While Anakin is freaking out over one thing or another, flying recklessly around Coruscant and losing all focus on the goal of becoming a Jedi, Master Kenobi stays rational and in control. There are a lot of sexy P-men in this category, the cool, controlled type who make a woman feel safe and in good hands. It also helps that Obi-Wan is single-mindedly dedicated to serving the Force and doesn’t interpret rules of conduct based on his current emotions. That trait can be seen frequently in military heroes of real life and fiction and to me is always attractive.

Admiral Adama – “Battlestar Galactica” – Speaking of military men, and being me, I have to mention the Admiral. Interestingly, I think perhaps his J-ness has gotten him into trouble this season. (I didn’t like the show as much in 2008, for a variety of reasons, including that Bill hasn’t been at his best.) The chaotic shifting in goals, the lack of certainty as to who is the true enemy, and so on, have taken their toll. I know that I, as a J, would be hard-pressed to keep from cracking. The discovery of the identities of the Final Four of Five Cylons reduced the stoic, strong, grim man I’ve adored into a blubbering guy in a bathrobe. Okay, so I’ll admit it’s not always easy to be sexy when you’re a J.

Dwight Schrute – “The Office” – Now dweeby Dwight is not your classic sexy guy. But in my opinion, when his J qualities come to the fore, he can be almost alluring as well as hilarious. There is no gray in Dwight’s world, and sometimes that’s very refreshing. He is never afraid to leap into a heroic role, take charge, enforce the rules, and act upon on his principles. A lot of people might consider that the definition of a fun-sucker, but some of us J’s find Dwight’s act a turn-on. Right, Angela?

Sawyer – “Lost” – Okay, I threw Sawyer in here because at first blush, a lot of you might think he’s actually a P. Doesn’t he seem like the wild, fly-by-night type? Well, hold on, think about it. It takes planning and organization to be a con artist. Even having given up that trade, Sawyer’s the one who bartered to collect what he needed to enhance island life, from drugs to paperbacks and reading glasses. He has a strong and stable personal code and sticks to it. He’s not the one who cheated on Kate, remember! And Sawyer never blusters off into the jungle without a plan. He’s the perfect illustration of how a J-guy can still be exotic and interesting and hot.

And speaking of Lost, let’s not forget the ultimate in hot J-ness: Benjamin Linus. Need I say more?

Please Tell Me Why I Love Ben Linus

Even if you don't watch "Lost," I'm sure you've had the experience of being drawn to some character you can clearly see is not supposed to be sexy. Or even likeable. For some reason, when this happens it's more thrilling than when you lust after someone who is supposed to be hot.

Cue Michael Emerson as Benjamin Linus.

Ben is the uber-villain of the show, and believe me, he's not one of those Alan Rickman-Jason Isaacs-Cillian Murphy kinds of villains. He's puny, has bug eyes and weird hair. He gets captured and beat up by the good guys all the time. He has no hot girlfriend at his side at the poker table, no posse of hangers-on, no fast car or ritzy mansion. He does rule the Island, though...mostly by ruthless cunning, remorseless violence, and superior intelligence. And at one time or another he has hurt, deceived, betrayed, or made of fool of every guy (and many women) in this creepy little paradise.

And he lies all the freakin' time.

But something about this man has won me over. His backstory episode helped: He was emotionally abused by his rotten father as a child, in a most pathetic and tear-jerking way. And he does have his vulnerabilities: just this past week our suspicions of his devotion to Juliet were confirmed. It was classic Ben Linus all right: now you like him, now you don't. In the scene where he makes her dinner, all excited like a schoolboy with a crush, he was so endearing...and so doomed, for meanwhile Juliet was having an affair with Goodwin. But wait a half hour (in TV time) and he's just murdered Goodwin and informed Juliet "You're MINE."

Now please tell me why this declaration by the murderous, weasley little Ben Linus sent me off to bed, imagining that I were on the Island trying to comfort him and win his heart away from Juliet? Well, that's what I did! I would have decided I was really insane were it not for the fact that the next morning my daughter Katie, who composes and distributes a weekly "LostCap" newsletter, included in her report a declaration of her own Bensanity.

This encouraged me enough to admit my problem in this blog. I am fascinated by Ben Linus. I love (as he put it this past week) that he always has a plan. I love that he lies, and I always believe this time he might telling the truth; in other words, I love that he can fool me. I love how devious he is, how unfailingly clever, and most of all how he only loses his cool when he loves somebody.

And as much as I've come to like his crazy hair, his buggy eyes, his face trashed by whatever latest round of pissed-off beatings he's received, I can tell you there is one thing about him that is truly beautiful: his voice. Michael Emerson has one of those velvet voices that forces you to listen. There's some fascinating quirk to his accent and/or diction that I can't quite place but could listen to for hours.

I guess in the final analysis, this is just one of those rare characters so intriguing, so strong, and so marvelously brought to life by a brilliant actor, you just can't help reacting to him. My husband just loathes the guy, probably more than any TV character I can recall. Some of my daughters' friends thinks he's horrible and icky. But I bet there are other Bensane women out there wondering why the heck they are lying awake at night picturing themselves washing Benjamin Linus's wounds and eating up his lies like candy.

Yep, here you have the handsome heroic Jack, the hot (former) bad boy Sawyer, the model-perfect Jin, the dreamy Desmond, the geekily gorgeous Daniel, and I'm writing a blog post on Ben. Just goes to show you, there are two words that best describe what turns women on: Go figure.


UPDATE - Dec. 14, 2008

I just had to share this photo, sent to me by Ben Linus fan Jennifer.

She was not wrong when she claimed it was one of the hottest photos of him ever, and I would faint. Brace yourselves...

The key, as Jennifer pointed out to me, is to view the photo in full size. To do so, please click here.

Thanks for giving me goosebumps, Jennifer!

UPDATE - March 14, 2009

Ben Linus fans may also enjoy this post: "Bad Boys, Good Guys, and Ben Linus."

Z’s Perfect Day with the Men of “Lost,” Mine on “BSG”

My daughter Amanda, also known as Manzi, also known as Z (and BTW, she does wear boots a lot), recently composed her fantasy dream day hanging out on the Island with the cast of “Lost.” Specifically, the males in the cast of “Lost.” It reads thusly:

It starts with Benry at his breakfast nook where we’d have coffee and he’d tell me all about A Brief History of Time. Then I’d take a long walk on the beach with Jack and we’d fly kites. Then Charlie would interrupt and escort me to a secluded area to show me a picnic he’d made for us. Then Desmond would come by and notice that Charlie hadn’t brought any McCutcheon whiskey so he’d bring me back to his tent to drink whiskey and play drinking games with Hurley and Jin who just happen to be hanging out there. Then Sawyer spots the shenanigans and yells “hey...Nancy Sinatra!” (his nickname for me since I walk around wearing knee high boots...even on the beach) and invites me to play ping pong. Finally…when I think I can’t take any more hot island man love…who should emerge from the jungle to sweep me off my feet?? MIKHAIL!!!!! HE’S ALIVE!!! He picks me up and we walk into the sunset while everyone claps and cheers!!!

Personally, I can’t imagine anything more thrilling than having Sawyer give you a nickname. LOL

Inspired by Manzi’s ingenuity, I decided to compose my own dream day with the men of “Battlestar Galactica.”

I’d begin my day with a workout in the Galactica gym with Helo as my personal trainer; and come to think of it, I’d happily spend the whole day there if I could watch him work out. But moving on, after a shower I’d join Lt. Gaeta for a comprehensive tour of the computer system, during which he’d have to say “Action stations! Prepare for FTL jump!” at some point. I’d meet Lee Adama for lunch at the ship’s bar and we’d have a lively discussion of his opinions concerning the precepts of Colonial Law, after which he’d take me for a very gentle ride on a Viper. Then, sadly, I’d have to excuse myself from his charming presence to meet with Chief Tyrol for a tour of the systems on a Raptor, which would be fascinating as well as let him demonstrate his sense of humor. As cocktail hour arrived, I’d hook up with Gaius Baltar, and of course I’d have to take the opportunity to run my fingers through his famous hair. I would happily listen to him talk about anything at all in that great British accent of his. Lastly, of course, I’d join Admiral Adama for a quiet private dinner in his quarters, where we’d stay up late drinking and talking about his adventures through the years, and that would just be the capper. Sigh.

Well, from the paradisiacal locale of the Island, to the rather grim environs of the Galactica, a girl can sure have a good time with hot fictional men. And isn’t it fascinating the array of activities that pass for romantic with the right companion? An intellectual discussion of metaphysics, ping-pong, a spacecraft ride, military reminiscences, it doesn’t matter if you’re in the company of someone with an interesting personality. And he can be mysterious, playful, complex, or just have a cool Russian accent--it all works.

Ah, the joys of being with the opposite sex (if the opposite sex is your bag)! Now you understand why daily life isn’t enough for me, I have to create men all the time and enjoy a vast variety of romantic, erotic experiences on a fictional plain. And, likewise, why women like watching shows like “Lost” and “Battlestar Galactica.”

Variety is the spice of life.