Monday, June 27, 2005

I Heart Techies

The other day my husband David and I saw one of those commercials for the “Geek Squad,” IT pros who work for Best Buy and travel around in black, white and orange VW beetles. “Why can’t the Geek Squad show up at our door?” I lamented.

Yes, I came out of the closet years ago as a lover of geeks. I’m not saying taped glasses and pocket protectors are a turn on, but I’m a sucker for all the other clichés. I love guys who play D&D and Half Life 2, collect Star Wars figures, wear software company T-shirts, read Dilbert and Marvel Comics, take Microsoft certification exams, and recite passages from “Lord of the Rings.” I like a guy who is shy and even slightly awkward around a woman he doesn’t know yet, but turns into a technological knight in shining armor when her PC is locked up. When a guy has a huge vocabulary about hardware and has a fabulous theater system at home, it’s hard to resist (if he has any THX-certified components, I’m a goner).

Classic geek characters I’ve found attractive: Mr. Spock, Michael Bolton from “Office Space,” any of Anthony Michael Hall’s characters, Ian Malcolm in “Jurassic Park,” Peter Parker, Clark Kent.

The funny thing is, I seem to be a bit of an oddity. Techie guys don’t guess their irresistibility to me unless hit over the head with it. And my female friends by and large don’t get their appeal. This is baffling to me. I mean, take a look at this list of attributes of the typical tech geek:

He can solve your computer problems for you (that seems to be the one everyone realizes).
He wields that mysterious air anyone possesses who has special know-how.
He makes good money and spends it on cool stuff like big TVs.
He’s imaginative—sure, he likes Seven-of-Nine’s catsuit, but the concept of the Borg intrigues him just as much.
He’s smart and therefore articulate and interesting.
He’s capable—all that troubleshooting develops some great problem-solving skills.

Face it, if we were to apply classic archetypes to the techie, he’d be a cross between a knight and a wizard. Sort of Sir Lancelot and Merlin rolled into one. Is that not a romantic hero for you? What’s not to like?

I recently had to upgrade my computer. I’m quite PC-savvy but don’t keep up on technological developments at all, so I couldn’t begin to guess what processor I should get, what video card, what size hard drive, etc. “Would you like me to spec something out for you?” asked David. In no time he had designed a system right for my needs at the most economical price on the web.

You can bet he got some that evening.

3 comments:

Diana Laurence said...

Oh Con, your French techie does sound magical, and I would have felt EXACTLY the same way about him. I knew a guy in high school who invented the concept of "upsilon," which equalled 1 divided by 0. The equations he built upon this number boggled the mind. It was probably all nonsense but to my romantic brain, it seemed like magic indeed. Wonderful stuff...thanks for sharing your story.

Keekee Brummet said...

Yes. Diana Laurence is absolutely right...have sex with a techie tonight! You won't regret it.

Diana Laurence said...

Hi Jack, thanks for reminding me with that post of another fine quality of techies: their enthusiasm in this regard. (Although when I think about it, that may be a fairly universal male trait.) :-)