Trey & Matt: The Appeal of Guys with Balls

Like a lot of people, I often use photos of attractive celebrities for my PC wallpaper. Right now my desktop features Trey Parker and the Kim Jong Il marionette from his puppet action picture, “Team America: World Police.” Neither one is exactly Brad Pitt, but I’ll tell you why I have the hots for Trey, while my daughter likewise is smitten with his South Park co-creator, Matt Stone.

We dig these guys basically because they have cohunes.

You’ve heard it said about Trey and Matt (the creators of “South Park” as well as “Team America”), that they offer something to offend everybody. That’s because in a culture obsessed with political correctness, these guys say whatever they want. Nevertheless, they don’t choose to offend for the sake of being offensive, just to get attention or create buzz about themselves. These two actually have beliefs, convictions, dare I say moral fiber. The characters they create and the stories they tell are funny, but there’s always an underlying message they want the world to hear.

And if the world doesn’t want to hear it, tough. Trey Parker and Matt Stone do not fearfully filter what they say so there will be no dangerous repercussions. I can hear them saying, “Repercussions? Fuck yeah!” And don’t think that this is just stupid recklessness. If you listen to them talk about what they do, you realize they are angry. There are people and ideas they truly do hate, and they aren’t afraid to say so.

It’s that courage that my daughter and I really admire. Here are a couple of guys who come right out on a DVD and say, “We hate all actors.” In their puppet movie they spoof some of Hollywood’s biggest names without their permission, even killing off their marionette alteregos in the most gruesome ways. Anyone tired of the Cult of Celebrity in this country, and the immense egos of so many actors, will find this just as cathartic as Matt and Trey do. But think about it: These guys make their living in Hollywood. The entertainment field is their social circle. They made a movie in which the top of Janeane Garafalo’s head is shot off, and there’s a real chance they will run into her in a restaurant this week.

But Parker and Stone honestly seem to feel not the least trepidation about this. They are the “dicks” which “Team America” defines as people whose true calling is to “fuck the pussies,” that is, tell the truth in whatever obnoxious manner they feel like, not cow towing to the tender sensibilities of the PC-obsessed. However, they are not “assholes,” the kind of people who shit on everything and make the world a mess. Their offensiveness is employed for the cause of good, and that’s what makes it a good thing itself.

In the venue of creativity, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are like Rambo or Clint Eastwood. Only this isn’t a movie, it’s real life. The price they pay for straight talking is the loss of favor of some very powerful people, but they value their right to speak over anything else, including success and wealth (which, happily, they have achieved anyway by sheer talent).

My daughter and I find this incredibly hot.

Trey Parker is a man with bright blue eyes and boyish good looks (in some of his films, like “Cannibal the Musical” and “Baseketball,” he is really quite adorable). Even better, he is hilariously funny and has a quite lovely singing voice. Nevertheless, I recognize he’s not quite ready for Entertainment Weekly’s “Hollywood’s Sexiest Men” List. Nor unless you let me vote. In my book he and his friend Matt have earned that status in a real way, by having balls.

So when I sigh over his picture with that Kim Jong Il puppet, I’m sure you understand.