PSA: Naked Pictures

Yes, I’m here today to provide a public service announcement.

Recently here in southeastern Wisconsin, we were shocked to learn a local high school boy had been using Facebook to trap other kids into unwanted sex. Posing as a female, this guy solicited nude photos from at least 31 boys, and then used the photos as blackmail to get them to perform sex acts with him.

Obviously the media and local residents were horrified by this report, and I certainly don’t mean to make light of it in any way. But the reporting and reactions seemed to me to leave out one important concept that might have spared these victims a lot of grief. I’ll put it succinctly:

If a female on the Internet shows interest in naked pictures of you, you can be 99% sure that she is a he.

News flash, young gentlemen: Females, especially girls, are not interested in seeing you naked. The typical female likes bare chests, and some might enjoy a nude bottom, but as for your genitalia, no. A genuine high school girl would much rather have you send her a poem you wrote, an mp3 of your favorite song, or a soul-baring paragraph about your hopes and dreams, than a photo of you (or even a Jonas brother) in the nude.

In fact, I dare say this could be a nifty litmus test for finding out of your “mystery correspondent” is masquerading as a female. Turn away from the hot photos of “herself” that this person has posted, and take a hard look at “her” behavior. It’s guys who are turned on by nude pictures. And while certainly some older women may enjoy “cybersex” and talking about the act, only a small percentage of girls are comfortable with it. A real girl is more interested in emotional intimacy; even a kiss to her is as much about a pledge of closeness than about physical pleasure.

While we’re on the subject, those of you who are teens and found this post because you were looking for advice on the topic: This is as good a time as any to learn that there is a huge difference between the sexes in how they respond to visual stimulation. Guys, it's probably true that you never meet a new girl without checking out her breasts--but be aware that girls are probably not checking out your package. Ever. And while naked pics of chicks are worth the world to you, most of your female friends care a lot more about Robert Pattinson’s hair and eyes than anything beneath his clothes. (Think about it: tween and teen girls only get excited about his bare skin because it sparkles--in other words, it’s magical.)

People are just made this way, and if you realize it and keep it in mind, it will help you a lot in your relationships with members of the opposite sex. And that goes both ways, girls; don’t be dismayed at how your boyfriends and male friends behave concerning nudity, they really can’t help it. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about what’s inside a girl, it’s just that the outside drives them a little wild.

I have to think if the high school boys in the New Berlin, Wis. area had been aware of these useful facts, fewer than 31 of them would have fallen prey to this Facebook scheme. I know mine isn’t the most read blog on the Web, but I hope a couple people out there will benefit from this post.