Earlier this month I posted an essay called “Why don’t I feel romantic toward my husband?” My daughters have subsequently referred to that post as “when you wrote about Davie.” While I did, in a sense, write about their stepfather in that piece, I was actually addressing a question emailed to me privately from a reader. And while I was writing about truths I think are fairly universal, I know feel rather compelled to write about the flip side of the issue.
So Davie, this one IS for you! Just a few reasons that pop to mind why I do still feel romantic toward my husband after 15 years....
1. That runner’s physique and fabulously tiny ass that first attracted me are still amazing. Davie would deny it, but at 46 he’s still a lean, mean and toned machine. I take it for granted now, but I shouldn’t; in Wisconsin trim men are not that easy to find! And as we recently determined, he is exactly five times stronger than me.
2. He’s really smart. Smart enough to build a computer, and to store in his brain approximately 5.3 billion facts about politics, history, and sports. Also smart enough to always know which direction to turn when coming out of a store in the mall, whereas I never have a clue.
3. He’s gallant and chivalrous. These are also vanishing traits. He’s always happy to drive me around. He’s always delighted to rescue my daughters from their latest crisis. Whenever I ask if I can help shovel snow, he says no. Cheerfully even.
4. He yells while watching football games like any red-blooded American guy, but also cries at movies. This man is a 10 on the straight-to-gay spectrum (meaning that when he’s really attracted to another man, it only means he’d love to buy him a beer), but he loves romantic comedies, enjoys cooking and decorating shows, and is a total sentimental slob about Christmas.
5. He hasn’t the slightest problem with my endless parade of celebrity and non-celebrity crushes, and even facilitates them at times. Who else would accompany his wife to Ottawa, Canada in February just so she could see her idol coach a hockey game? (Well, he does like hockey, but still.) Meanwhile, he also indulges my platonic but no doubt slightly annoying crush on our cat Cody.
6. He is cute and funny and has a fantastic vocabulary. Consequently he is entertaining every day. Davie still doesn’t quite believe that being funny is the sexiest thing a guy can do, but I keep reminding him. I’m right, right ladies?
7. He is 100% honest, loyal, faithful and true. In fantasy these are not necessarily romantic traits--we all like our bad boys--but in reality they are probably the most important erotic/romantic traits of all. Davie has never lied, cheated, deceived or been less than totally candid and open about anything in all the time I’ve known him. I’m not sure he could even if he tried and he has no interest in trying! Being able to completely trust someone is an indescribably wonderful thing.
I could go on (and I’ll bet Davie would kind of like me too, LOL), but you get the idea. It all boils down to the fact that he is a wonderful husband, especially for me in particular. That doesn’t necessarily inspire romantic feelings every hour or every day (especially when your wife is menopausal--the only thing wrong with being 51), but sometimes it just has to.
And every hour and every day it does make me very, very happy. Merry Christmas, Davie! I love you.