Monday, March 13, 2006
My Favorite Martian and Other Sexy Aliens
When reader Mel posted about having Doctor Who on her wallpaper, it reminded me of the infinite appeal of aliens and space-traveling guys. Personally, this is probably my favorite archetype, or at least the most long-standing. Indeed, I did have a crush on Ray Walston on the show “My Favorite Martian” when I was in grade school. And however funny and cute Ray Walston is, he’s not really crush material, so one can only attribute his appeal to the fact that he was an alien.
A few years later I had it really bad for Mr. Spock. Although I’m sure the producers of “Star Trek” put their money on Bill Shatner as the sex interest on that show, they bet wrong. Who wants a mere starship captain when there is an exotic, emotionally compromised alien available? Then again, if the starship captain is bald, has a British accent and a French name, he can certainly be desirable, especially if his catch phrase is “Make it so.”
Nevertheless, Data gave Captain Picard a run for his money, or would have if there were still money in that century. An android, especially one so cute, is just as good as an alien. And if you question the potential appeal of androids, I have only four words for you: Jude Law in “A.I.” In fact, a guy doesn’t even necessarily need to be corporeal to be attractive: I was kinda sweet on the holographic Doctor on “Star Trek: Voyager,” seeing as he was really funny and had a great singing voice. Even the strange-looking Odo was appealing in a shape-shifting kind of way, aided again by an interesting voice and that emotional vulnerability no woman can resist. It seems if you take the most appealing aspects of human men and throw in the alien/cyborg element, things just get better, don’t they? I’ll bet there are lots of women out there who crushed on Mork, since a comic from another planet is pretty dang irresistible.
You may have missed out on just about the coolest alien in cinematic history, the Clint Eastwood of aliens, Klaatu from “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” He combined the vast intellect of Data, the nice voice of Picard (that old-fashioned East Coast accent that is practically British), the stoic demeanor of Spock, and a great face and body. In my opinion no alien has topped Klaatu for sexiness. Although I have to hand it to Jeff Goldblum in “Earth Girls are Easy” for trying. Who knew someone painted blue could be so hot? Yikes.
You can name plenty of sci-fi guys who excel based on their fearless, adventurous nature and skills behind the wheel. Here’s a short list of a few more starship pilots, captains, and explorers: Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Malcolm and Wash from “Firefly”/”Serenity,” the ill-fated astronaut Dave from “2001: A Space Odyssey,” Doctor Who, Bruce Willis in “Armegeddon.” Or think of the bunch who are warrior/soldier types on a cosmic level: Obi-wan Kenobi, Flash Gordon, Buck Rodgers (and Duck Dodgers? well, no), Neo in “The Matrix,” Will Smith in “Independence Day.”
The mystique of the alien crosses genres. Don’t forgot these very hot guys who were born on other worlds: Ziggy Stardust (and possibly David Bowie himself), Superman, Dr. Frank N. Furter and Riff Raff in “Rocky Horror Picture Show,” Kyle McLachlan and Sting in “Dune,” Alec Newman and James McAvoy in “Children of Dune,” Ricardo Mantalban as Khan in “Star Trek II.” And although Wolverine wasn’t born on another planet, we’ll give him an honorable mention. What an array of attractive males...each in his own unique way.
So I’m sure your dying to know my theory on the appeal of space guys and aliens, and it’s really nothing you didn’t know yourself. The two categories have slightly different things going for them. Space travelers are just another form of the classic fearless, adventuresome, independent hero who has been suckering us women in since pirates and cowboys. The fact that they do their thing in space just raises it to a higher level. Aliens, on the other hand, charm us by being exotic. They are strange and full of mystery that begs to be explored, with a hint of danger to make things even spicier.
I’m sure I left out some really great sexy aliens and space travelers, so please post your personal favorites. And anyone who crushed on Martin the Martian, Mr. Spock, AND Klaatu, I need to hear from you!